Dirk Verburg

‘Guys, I will always have your back’, she said when she became our leader … until she did not.

We all know the stories about how notorious dictators like Joseph Stalin, Mao Zedong, and Saddam Hussein, not only ruled their countries with an iron fist, but had an inner circle of followers that were on the one hand attracted to them and craving for their approval, and on the other hand continuously on their toes, out of fear of falling out of favor and being ‘purged’ as a result. A contemporary example of such a dictator is Kim Jong Un.

Nowadays, we would say these dictators had a ‘dark triad’. 

What Is The Dark Triad?

In 2002, Paulhus and Williams coined the phrase ‘Dark Triad’, to describe a constellation of three overlapping personality traits: 

• Narcissism – A propensity to feel grandiose, acting arrogant, and having an excessive amount of self-love. People with this condition crave for attention and praise, and might harm others (emotionally or physically) to get it
• (subclinical) Psychopathy – A personality characteristic marked by a significant lack of empathy or remorse. People with this tendency tend to be bold, impulsive, and often lean toward negative, antisocial, or even criminal behavior
• Machiavellianism – A tendency to lie, manipulate, and strategically plan in order to gain power. People with this trait understand moral principles but simply don’t value them. They are often cynical, lack emotion, and struggle with empathy, which makes it hard for them to maintain lasting relationships

The combination of these personality traits enables people with this ‘dark triad’ to manipulate their followers. 

Unfortunately, the domain of people with a dark triad is not restricted to politics. Many of us have also witnessed these behaviors in leaders in organizations we worked for. I also regularly come across victims of leaders with a dark triad in my practice as an Executive Coach. A more popular term we often use to describe this kind of people is ‘Toxic leader’. However, I do not use this term in this blog post, since this term only describes people who show the symptoms, but do not necessarily have the personality.

Why is it important to identify Leaders with a dark triad?

There are two reasons why we need to be able to recognize Leaders with a dark triad: first of all for our personal well-being, and secondly, for the continuity of our organizations.

Our personal well-being

For many of us, leaders play an important role in our lives. A good day is often a day when our leader praises us (‘carrot’), and a bad day is one when our leader criticizes us (‘stick’). Because leaders with a dark triad are so good at manipulating the feelings of their followers, it is dangerous if we make ourselves emotionally dependent on them.

The reason for this is that, to stay in their good graces and driven by the expectation that our leader will back us up, as followers, we run the danger of compromising our moral values.

Examples of where this can lead us include being disloyal to our peers in 1:1 conversations with our leaders, telling small (white) lies on behalf of our leader to others, or even engaging in questionable business practices. This does not necessarily mean illegal ones: closing deals that lead to short-term profits but hurt the business long-term, simply to ensure our leader’s financial results look good, also fall in this category.

The continuity of our organizations

Unfortunately, the impact of leaders with a dark triad is not limited to their immediate followers. Depending on their managerial level, they can also have a devastating effect on their organizations. There are numerous (recent) examples in the business world where CEO’s with dark triads brought their organizations in serious trouble, or even caused them to collapse. Names like Jeff Skilling and Dennis Kozlowski spring to mind.

Since research suggests that the more senior the leader is, the higher the statistical chance that this leader has dark traits, and the huge negative impact senior leaders can have on their organizations, HR leaders and Supervisory Boards have a huge responsibility in this area.

How can we identify leaders with a dark triad – despite their charisma?

Although an estimated 12% of all senior leaders display a range of psychopathic traits, it is not easy to identify leaders with a dark triad. The reason is that, almost always thanks to their charisma, they are very good at hiding it. Their behavior often resembles that of successful politicians like Tony Blair, Bill Clinton, and Jimmy Carter, who were all credited with the capabiltity to make the person they were talking at any given moment, to feel like they were the most important person in the world.

Although there are personality assessments available to measure the degree to which individuals have a dark triad, it is hard to ask people to complete them. (‘Excuse me, I think you may have a dark triad. Would you mind completing this questionnaire so I can be sure?)

Fortunately, The Cleveland clinic identified nine behaviors leaders with a dark triad display, so if your leader displays some of the following characteristics in an unhealthy degree, this might be a signal you need to watch out:

• Self-centeredness
• Charm and charisma
• Lack of attachments (Superficial relationships with others)
• Lying
• Unnecessary risk-taking
• Lack of compassion
• Jealousy
• Greed
• Bullying or abuse

Transactional Analysis

Another approach is to review how you experience your relationship with your leader. In this context, I always find it helpful to use the Transactional Analysis (TA) framework with my clients.

In short, and without doing this approach any justice, Transactional Analysis identifies three ego states we can find ourselves in: Parent, Adult, and Child. 

• Parent – The Parent state reflects the behaviors of our parents, which can be Critical or Nurturing. The Nurturing Parent is supportive and permissive, and the Critical Parent is judgmental, sets rules, and finds faults.
• Child – The Child state reflects the behavior of us as children and either be Free or Adapted. The Natural Child is spontaneous, curious, and rebellious, whereas the Adapted Child is focused on complying with the demands of the Parent.
• Adult – The Adult state is based on the logical, rational and objective part of our personality that deals with the here and now.

Taking on a TA perspective can be a great way to analyze our relationships in the workplace, and it does not require much imagination that the relationship between a leader with a dark triad and his follower will often be one of a Critical Parent with an Adapted Child.

So, if you come to the conclusion that the relationship with your line manager can be compared to one where your line manager acts as the Critical Parent, and you feel compelled to act as an Adapted Child, that might be the first warning sign, and a signal to move to the Adult state. If, additionally, your line manager displays one or more of the nine characteristics mentioned earlier, and you feel you have to compromise your personal values, there is a significant chance you are being managed by a line manager with the dark triad.

What should you do if your manager has a dark triad?

If you think your leader has a dark triad, you must take action and protect yourself, because the chance that your leader will change their behavior is negligible.

Awareness

First and foremost, you need to remain aware of the fact that your leader has a dark triad and interpret their words and actions in this context. In other words:

• Understand that, sad as it is, and crude as it sounds, consider the possibility that whatever your leader says, they might be lying
• Protect yourself – make your emotional well-being independent of both their compliments and their criticism on your behavior and performance (set boundaries); their compliments and criticism are merely instruments your leader uses to manipulate your behavior

Move On

Waiting for leaders with a dark triad to make the first move to exit their toxic relationship with you is not a good idea.

Therefore, the second thing to understand is that the chances that your line manager is going to change are extremely small because the dark triad is an integral part of their personality. You could compare it to changing from an Introvert to an Extrovert (or vice versa) in MBTI terms. This change usually requires a (literally) life-changing event (e.g., a divorce, a severe disciplinary action, or a death in the family), and waiting for this to happen might not suit your personal timetable. So, either you wait (or rather, hope) for this to happen, escalate this issue within your organization (which might be difficult from a burden of proof perspective), or you need to step away from this relationship by taking another role in your organization, or leave the organization altogether.

Given the fact that, last time I checked, ‘Hope is not a strategy’, utilizing the first mover advantage might be your most practical option…

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PS: Tired of navigating a toxic leadership dynamic alone? You don’t have to. In my executive coaching practice, I support clients move beyond simply coping to finding strategic solutions when reporting to a leader with a dark triad trait. Book a confidential virtual consultation today to explore how we can turn your challenge into a career-defining advantage.